Como educar os filhos a partir da ideia do “slow parenting”?
Michelle Prazeres, do Desacelera SP é uma das entrevistadas nesta matéria que busca entender o movimento “pais sem pressa”. Confira a reportagem de Claudia Ratti para o canal Delas IG.
O movimento propõe reflexões sobre maternidade, paternidade e infância, buscando uma criação com mais afeto, acolhimento, presença e respeito
Como educar os filhos? A resposta não é fácil. Para muitas famílias, preencher a agenda dos pequenos com atividades extracurriculares é a solução para um futuro bem sucedido. Afinal, quanto mais cedo eles aprenderem uma segunda língua, estimularem o raciocínio e desenvolveram novas habilidades melhor para quando chegar a hora de ingressar no mercado de trabalho. E é isso que queremos, não é? Nem sempre.
O que é parentalidade sem pressa?
A parentalidade é o conjunto de atividades desempenhadas por adultos – pai, mãe ou outro responsável – para garantir a sobrevivência e o desenvolvimento de uma criança. Colocar esse papel em prática de forma “sem pressa” significa respeitar o tempo da infância e ter uma atuação presente na vida dos filhos com carinho, afeto e consciência.
“Isso implica em uma desaceleração e em um questionamento dos valores do mundo, porque o mundo te apresenta a velocidade como um valor positivo que é aplicado a várias esferas da vida”, explica Michelle Prazeres, uma das idealizadoras do “Desacelera SP”, iniciativa que busca refletir temas como tempo, convivência afetiva e consumo. Desse modo, o “slow parenting” propõe uma reflexão sobre o exercício da maternidade e da paternidade em uma sociedade pautada em valores como a velocidade, produtividade e imediatismo.
Adeptos dessa filosofia são pais e mães que têm um pensamento crítico sobre o que é considerado padrão e que tentam estabelecer uma conexão com seus filhos da forma que mais faz sentindo para a vida daquela família. De acordo com Michelle, são adultos que exercem a paternidade e a maternidade com o que acreditam ser o melhor para si, não com o que se vende como uma solução rápida e fácil. “É uma certeza de que a infância precisa de tempo, acolhimento, atenção, disponibilidade, afeto, amor, carinho e presença, significado”, afirma.
Há regras no “slow parenting”?
E não há uma fórmula ou um passo a passo a ser aplicado para conseguir isso. Muito pelo contrário. O “slow parenting” não deve ser entendido como mais uma obrigação e um peso na vida dos pais. Afinal, cada família tem uma realidade e dinâmica diferente. O que pode funcionar para alguns, pode não funcionar para outros.
O mais importante é olhar para si e refletir, buscando como educar os filhos de modo que essas crianças possam viver a infância de forma completa, contribuindo positivamente para o ser humano que está sendo formado. “A expectativa é que a gente tenha seres humanos melhores, mais conectados, mais presentes em suas relações, mais bem resolvidos, tendo passado por menos violências”, diz Michelle.
Leia também: Entenda a linha pedagógica da escola do seu filho
Como colocar em prática?
Para a educadora e mestre em educação Vanessa Galvani, a família deve começar a repensar a rotina, os valores e aquilo que considera importante. Segundo ela, é interessante replanejar e reavaliar esses pontos para que o tempo da criança seja respeitado. Será que ela precisa mesmo de todos aqueles brinquedos? A aula de inglês é realmente necessária agora? Ela precisa passar tanto tempo assim no tablet? São alguns questionamentos interessantes.
Priscila Castanho foi uma dessas mães que sentiu necessidade de repensar a rotina para respeitar o desenvolvimento das filhas, uma de sete e outra de dois anos, de forma que elas possam ter o tempo necessário para explorar, brincar e descobrir novas coisas. “Para nós, é muito prioritário que elas consigam ficar em contato com a essência delas”, diz a mãe.
Morando há quase quatro anos na zona rural do interior de São Paulo, a doula e especialista em pós-parto deixou a carreira de farmacêutica na capital paulista para que pudesse ser mais presente na criação das filhas. Priscila afirma que se afastar da lógica da cidade grande foi essencial para que as pequenas pudessem experimentar a vida no tempo delas. “É uma vida que acontece de forma orgânica”, diz.
Para Michelle, que é professora e jornalista, a reflexão surgiu quando ficou grávida pela primeira vez e passou a buscar um parto respeitoso, tanto para ela quanto para o bebê. Desde então, repensa a forma como encara o dia a dia e adapta a rotina para ser mais presente na vida dos filhos, um de seis anos e outro de um ano e três meses.
“Acho que pratico o ‘slow parenting’ porque tenho a consciência do tempo que passo com meus filhos e acho que tenho presença e plenitude. Para mim essas palavras são chave. Quando estou com eles, estou presente”, afirma a professora.
Mesmo que a realidade dessas mães seja diferente de sua família, é possível se inspirar em como educar os filhos criando momentos no dia a dia para se conectar com pequenos e simplesmente viver, no sentido mais simples da palavra.
De acordo com a a psicóloga e psicanalista infantil Elisa Motta Iungano, é importante criar espaços e momentos para que pais e filhos tenham tempo de um olhar para o outro e de se conectar. “Não é preciso propor atividades o tempo todo. Deixe apenas fluir. Muitas coisas podem surgir se a gente apenas deixar as crianças criarem”, orienta.
A psicanalista também fala que é interessante as crianças participarem da vida dos pais e perceberem como as coisas são feitas. Ela sugere preparar as refeições com os pequenos, mostrando de onde vem aquilo que elas comem, quanto tempo demoram a serem feitos. Isso ajuda a quebrar com a lógica do imediatismo e de velocidade.
Vanessa sugere levar o que chama de “caixa da presença” para o dia a dia da família. A ideia é separar uma caixa e um horário do dia onde todos da família colocam o celular, relógio e eletrônicos para desconectar da tecnologia e ficar presente na vida do outro pelo menos parte do dia.
Leia também: A importância do brincar
Tempo da criança
Para as especialistas, o excesso de atividades na agenda das crianças cria ansiedade pela necessidade de tornar o tempo sempre produtivo. “Estamos atropelando essa criança ao encher a agenda. Ela não tem tempo de ser criativa”, afirma Vanessa.
Elisa explica que a preocupação em garantir um futuro confortável é legitima, mas quando isso é refletido em como criar um filho, acaba limitando o tempo de brincar e de explorar o mundo de fantasia. “Não é prejudicial, mas é desnecessário ocupar a energia da criança com aprendizados que não são tão importantes para essa fase”, comenta.
Para a psicanalista, é importante a criança ter tempo para criar as próprias teorias, para vivenciar o lúdico e o processo de aprendizado que ela pode ter sozinha nas coisas mais simples, por exemplo, observando uma formiga caminhar no jardim. “A criança vai aprender as coisas no tempo dela e os adultos precisam respeitar e criar essa oportunidade para que elas possam explorar”, diz Vanessa.
Garantir esse tempo é um dos motivos que fizeram Priscila mudar totalmente a rotina. “É muito importante que elas sejam crianças no tempo de serem crianças, que não sejam atarefadas demais, que tenham tempo de brincar e também tempo de não fazer nada”, diz.
Nesse sentido, vale mostrar às crianças que o “não fazer nada” não é um problema e que pode ser visto como positivo. Por exemplo, se seu filho perguntar a você o que ele pode fazer na tarde livre, mostre que é possível utilizar esse tempo da forma que ele achar que deve. “Deixe a criança entender que o tempo está aí e que é ele é nosso, que podemos brincar, usufruir ou não fazer nada, e que às vezes temos alguns horários que precisam ser cumpridos”, diz Michelle.
No final, o “slow parenting” é uma resposta a como educar os filhos de forma orgânica, com afeto e presença. E essa forma vai mudar de família para família, já que não há uma receita para uma criação perfeita. O mais importante é refletir, rever padrões e questionar o que realmente importa para o desenvolvimento da criança. “Precisamos pensar menos em eficiência e mais em vivência”, finaliza a psicanalista.
Fonte: Delas – iG @ http://delas.ig.com.br/filhos/2017-08-07/como-educar-filho-slow-parenting.html
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